New Caledonia – Paradise Revisited

Coming back home after 16 months on the road, it is always interesting to see what kind of questions you get from family and friends. One surprising one for us that was often repeated was, “How was New Caledonia?” Considering we had been to over 20 countries overland, somehow the image of far flung islands won out. It invariably conjured up excitement in people’s eyes and dream holidays in their minds. Let’s set the record straight and be honest here, we weren’t instant fans of New Caledonia. So far on the blog, we have usually written about places we loved, interesting people we met or moments that left a strong impact on us. We pretty much left out the few places that did not really capture our hearts and minds. So New Caledonia is a kind of hybrid beast, because it was a bit…well, blah.

Maybe our expectations were ridiculously high, maybe we were suffering from a bit of travel burn out after more than a year on the road, maybe we’d already seen too much, maybe we stayed to long. There are many maybes, but the fact is, after being overexcited at seeing it from above, we were left slightly disappointed. The stunning turquoise lagoons that melted into pale blue reefs and the dark green mountains that shot out of the water from the heart of the island, had oversold themselves.

The view from the heavens beneath the clouds left us breathless, but the reality on the ground, left us underwhelmed. 

Don’t get us wrong, New Caledonia is beautiful. We had chosen to go there on a whim, thinking that since we were in New Zealand we might as well hop over to one of the Pacific islands. The Pacific islands have always held a sense of mystery in my mind, I would conjure up images of tropical islands, unknown flavours and new cultures, somewhere so far away it felt full of possibilities. We did not know what to expect, but somehow we never thought that the place furthest away from “home” would be the most similar culturally. New Caledonia is as french as it gets. The capital Noumea, far from being an architecturally interesting place, looks more like the seaside banlieus (suburbs) of Cannes or Nice. I don’t know why I had imagined colonial buildings from the past hidden among sweet palm trees, a picture completely invented in my head without any reason, some cliché I had unfortunately built up. (Note to self: do not make random assumptions about places)

What makes a place special to us are its people, its flavours. A pretty landscape is great, but not if it only feels like a charming backdrop.

The native Kanak population was very friendly every time we met, but if you don’t have your own connections, most access to Kanak villages is through home stay programmes where you pay ridiculous amounts for a traditional meal and a “pretend” dance set up for tourists. Not the kind of natural interaction we had come to look for and expect after travelling for so long. It is not impossible to do so, but it is much more difficult than in other countries we have been to. 

There is of course a big melting pot of cultures in Noumea itself, Chinese, Vietnamese, Caldoche, Kanak, Indonesian, etc., which all come to the forefront at the daily market in town. At the Buvette du Marché, the market coffee stall, you will find all types of faces sipping on their hot coffee, which somehow also manages to taste exactly like the bitter watery coffee you find in the cafés of France.

After two weeks in the capital, we finally took a road trip around the main island – Le Grand Caillou, which opened up all the beauties the island has to offer. Stunning beaches to ourselves, kayak trips in peaceful lagoons and mostly bad camping facilities from the 70s. We saw the other side of the island, the one with the rolling cattle hills and horses grazing under coconut trees. The wild eastern coast with its big waves and tropical overgrowth. Walks to the top of mountains gave us a bird’s eye view of the reefs and sensational rock formations. A road trip which changed our minds a little, that gave us a renewed sense of excitement.

You did redeem yourself quite a bit New Caledonia, chapeau. You have a lot to offer, but for the distance, exorbitant prices and all-round experience, we won’t be coming back anytime soon. We are however, very happy to have visited you, because now we know.